Routing experiments
BGP, IPv4/IPv6, route policy, and all the fun things that make network engineers stare blankly at terminal windows.
EXPERIMENTAL PACKET CONGESTION DEPARTMENT · EST. 2026
THE PIPE
IS CLOGGED.
Welcome to Clogged Pipe Network by Dekkapok Engineering. Where congestion is a feature, packet loss is premium, and BGP stands for Barely Getting Packets.
◇ 100% community-powered nonsense · 0% guaranteed delivery
↳ NETWORK_TOPOLOGY.SVG● CONCEPTUAL VIEW
CONGESTION IS OUR PASSIONPACKET LOSS GUARANTEED™YOUR PACKETS. OUR PROBLEM.99.999% DOWNTIME SLACONGESTION IS OUR PASSIONPACKET LOSS GUARANTEED™YOUR PACKETS. OUR PROBLEM.99.999% DOWNTIME SLA
01 / WHO ARE WE?
Professionally unserious.
Technically curious.
An independent internet plumbing experiment by Dekkapok Engineering. We route packets, question our life choices, and occasionally pretend the traceroute is fine.
Peering & connectivity
Building real-world networking experience through transit, interconnection, and occasionally questionable configurations.
Pipe maintenance
Self-hosted infrastructure, automation, monitoring, and experiments that absolutely could have been done the easy way.
02 / SERVICE LEVEL DISAGREEMENTS
Bad networking.
Excellent branding.
All the classic networking promises. Reinterpreted by the Dekkapok Engineering Department of Questionable Connectivity.
01 / CORE VALUE
Clogged Pipe™
Congestion is a feature, not a bug. We don't have bottlenecks. We have intentional packet gathering areas.
02 / PREMIUM DELIVERY
Packet Loss Guaranteed™
Premium networking experience. Your packets are important to us. That's why we keep a few as souvenirs.
03 / DELIVERY POLICY
Best-Effort Networking
Very, very best effort. We absolutely intended to forward your packets. What happened next is between the routers.
04 / TOTALLY NOT AN SLA
99.999% Downtime SLA
Five nines, inverted. Industry-leading commitment to making the uptime graph look like modern abstract art.
05 / CONTROL PLANE
BGP: Barely Getting Packets
Border Gateway Protocol? Never heard of it. We prefer Barely Getting Packets. Our favorite route is the scenic route.
06 / CUSTOMER SATISFACTION
It Works As Named™
If the pipe is clogged, the name is accurate. That's not an outage. That's unmatched product consistency.
UPSTREAM PROVIDER · NOC TICKET #404“Why is the network congested?”
CLOGGED PIPE NETWORK · OFFICIAL RESPONSE“It's working as named.” 💀
FICTIONAL SERVICE STATUS
Guaranteed disappointment.
Our network is doing exactly what the marketing department promised. These are parody values, not measured network telemetry.
ADVERTISED DOWNTIME99.999%
PACKET DELIVERY¯\_(ツ)_/¯
BGP MOODFLAPPING
ROOT CAUSEDNS*
*It's always DNS. Except when it's MTU. Then it's definitely MTU.
INTERACTIVE / PARODY DIAGNOSTICS
Run the blame engine.
Generate an incident report from our highly unaccredited network engineering department.
$ pipe-doctor --diagnose STATUS: CONGESTED BY DESIGN HINT: Try blaming DNS.
SIMULATION ONLY · NO TRAFFIC SENT · NOT A REAL SLA
03 / THE TERMINAL
Packets have feelings too.
A fictional console demo, not a live looking-glass service. Real diagnostics can be plugged in later.
guest@clogged-pipe: ~
guest@clogged-pipe:~$ whois CLOGGED-PIPE
Network Name : Clogged Pipe Network
Network Type : Experimental / Questionable Plumbing
Organization : Dekkapok Engineering
Routing Policy: It depends™
Mission : Learning, breaking, fixing, repeating.
guest@clogged-pipe:~$ ping internet
# Demonstration output. No packets were actually sent.
64 bytes from internet: ttl=maybe time=eventually
64 bytes from internet: ttl=probably time=eventually
Warning: packets may take the scenic route.
guest@clogged-pipe:~$
04 / CONNECT WITH US
Let's exchange some routes.
Serious about BGP. Questionable about slogans. Peering details will be published once the network is operational.
NETWORK PROFILE
Network information
Network nameClogged Pipe Network
OperatorDekkapok Engineering
ASNComing soon
Network typeExperimental / Packet Plumbing
IPv4 / IPv6 prefixesNot published
Peering policyTo be announced
SAY HELLO
Contact the NOC*
Have a peering question, found a routing anomaly, or just want to discuss why your packets went on vacation? We'd love to hear from you.
* NOC stands for Network Operations Comedy.
Mailbox is monitored by human network enthusiasts.
THE OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL PROMISE
Your packets are in good hands.
Probably.
Clogged Pipe Network by Dekkapok Engineering — proudly congesting the internet since 2026. (Figuratively.)